So goddamn disgraceful I don't have the words for it yet

I've read the terms of agreement, so I'm fully aware that I'll have to pay ungodly sums of money to Google a few years from now when it's time to publish this blog in book form, and yet I proceed. Can't be bothered to figure out how to start a blog where I own the contents. We, humans, can't be bothered, and I think that goes further in explaining American politics than anything else I'll ever write.

I was so busy at work on Saturday night that I couldn't be bothered to properly wipe my ass after making a covert mission to the bathroom and taking an especially toxic dump. The leftover shit ate away at the underside of my supple cheeks like sandpaper and made walking painful for roughly 54 hours.

Meanwhile the Washington Post was busy printing it's early morning Sunday edition, with the headline "Hill Briefed on Waterboarding in 2002: In Meetings, Spy Panels' Chiefs Did Not Protest, Officials Say". Post reporters John Warrick and Dan Eggen couldn't be bothered to write the word "torture" and, needless to say, Nancy Pelosi, John D. Rockefeller, Bob Graham, and Jane Harman had no objections to torturing suspected terrorists.

But Democrats are so appalled that the CIA threw away it's cinematic masterpiece, Torturing Zayn Abidin Muhammed Hussein abu Zubaida that they want to create their own multi-media masterpiece for the geriatrics who watch C-Span - call it, The Questioning of CIA Head Honcho Gen. Michael Hayden.

But why?? John Kiriakou was there during the filming of the aforementioned torture-porn epic. As a CIA interrogator. He says abu Zubaida underwent waterboarding, which he himself admits is torture. (See http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/10/AR2007121002091.html) It's not like we don't know that the CIA tortures prisoners it holds, renditions prisoners to be tortured by other governments, and tortures prisoners it doesn't hold in secret CIA prisons that don't exist. But if The Loyal Opposition Party didn't have any qualms over a little torture in 2002; and it couldn't be bothered to block the nomination of what is this waterboarding you speak of ? Mukasey; then why should they waste their time with (huff!) demanding answers?

The only answer the Dems are gonna get is this - most Americans don't give two farts if we torture people that are darker and, most probably, harrier than us. Tragically sad, but true. That is the one unquestionable truth we can garner from the popularity of 24. They might, maybe, if they really think about it, think that it could, possibly, be not too great on the moral scale. But really, they can't be bothered. And they don't watch C-Span anyways. More to the point, no one who cared in the first place is gonna vote Democrat just because, Congress Has Decided to Launch Investigations! Who knew? When did they know? Weren't we supposed to know? Was it shot on HD or SD? But votes is the only possible reason they would investigate in the first place. Which means the Democratic Party is led by a gang of (morally bankrupt) morons.

Now, for the good news! My rash is gone. Unfortunately, the Democrats are like a hemorrhoid that just won't die. We apply prescription and over-the-counter lotion faithfully, but it doesn't matter if we fall asleep on the toilet with the paper in one hand and our teary face in the other. If we can't be bothered to get off the toilet, wipe our ass, brush our teeth, take our contacts, set the alarm, and turn off the light, then we should stop complaining every time our ass bleeds.

Next blog - why the Republicans are like recurring UTI. (Hint - they burn us every time).