holiday musings

karl just about says it all

Oscar Peterson

RIP Oscar Peterson - obit here.

speechless

Danbury CT - A 33-year-old woman was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault Saturday after allegedly groping a man playing Santa Claus at the Danbury Fair mall...the best line in this whole story: "I don't know what the deal was. It was just bizarre," from the alleged victim Santa.

Alarming Alliance?

It's not suburban white girls joining inner city gangs, its an unsurprising alliance between Bloods and Mafia in NY/NJ to bring drugs and pre-paid cell phones into East Jersey State prison. Didn't the mafia do this already? And why would an alliance between these two "gangs" signify anything new or different? The truth is that there are drugs and contraband at almost every single jail, and it gets there deliberately not accidentally. This connection is laughable when you think of the under-reported stories about gang infiltration of the US Armed Services. I have personally heard from veterans that MS-13 graffiti can be found in many parts of Baghdad. I think it is far more alarming that with relaxed entry requirements, the US Army could be giving its arms, explosive and other training to gang members, who I'm sure can find some use for this training....

An Unspeakable Act (PUSSIES!!!!!!!!! I want to cry)

Get to work and the first thing I notice is an aluminum tray full of heart-shaped cookies. Being the slob that I am, I stuff one into my mouth without asking who they belong to, correctly assuming they were meant for general consumption. Didn't find out until 20 minutes later that those cookies were delivered to my place of work by Rachel, a big titty nutcase with bug eyes who had recently been fired. Less than a month after being hired. I don't have time to go into the specifics of her head case, but suffice it to say that she told me she couldn't work on Friday (or maybe Saturday?) nights because of her religion. I asked her what religion. "It doesn't matter," she replied. She told me this only a few hours after purposely rubbing her tremendous mammaries against my arm twice. And telling two male co-workers that she loves having a boyfriend because she loves swallowing. (???) It's one thing for a girl to love dick, and as far as I know most do, but I can't begin to imagine why a girl would love gargling semen, much less tell her new co-workers this. She's an Army brat, and while that, plus whatever cult she's in, may account for some of her neuroses/insanity, we'll probably never know the entire story.

Bare with me please, I'm getting somewhere with this. I unknowingly ate a cookie this crazy bitch decided to drop off on the same day as the staff Christmas party... I had more than a little reason to be scared. But first, another tangent that should eventually connect. To the rest of this blog.

J.C., aka Gay C. or as I prefer, Jota Gay is harrassed by everyone at work. I don't think J.C. is actually gay. I will admit the tight pink shirts and short scarf tied around his neck while indoors don't help, and neither does the limp handshake. But, despite appearances, J.C. is not gay, he just looks it and happens to have the most vile taste in women of any straight man I've ever seen. NO ONE has fucked as many ugly and ugly-crazy women as this man. Crazy bug-eyed Rachel sensed this immediately and hooked-up with said puto immediately after becoming his co-worker.

She also connived Marvin, or, as most people know him, Caballo ("Horse" in English) to fuck her sloppy, pathetic self. Caballo, who got his name due to his monster shoulders and sweet, but brutish nature, not his package (though, who am I to say) is illegal and doesn't speak any English. Now, that doesn't necessarily make him any less attractive to a woman, but it probably does make him less of a "catch" to a college educated white woman. He, like all Central American men, is hopelessly in love with white women, no matter how crazy or ugly. Rachel stopped crying after the two consummated their relationship just long enough to tell Caballo she loved him. Yeah...

And now, finally getting to the point - Jota Gay, according to all semi-verifiable rumors, continues to fuck this nasty, nasty, ho. Even though he knows every time he goes down on her he's licking Caballo meat. (Caballo was smart enough to hit it once and get the fuck out). Jota Gay denies it of course, but we all know better. The truth is, the Jay is is not gay. No self-respecting man, gay or straight, would let his dick go anywhere near that STI repository. No, Jota Gay is a PUSSY. A real, live, walking talking PUSSY. Which brings us to the sickening, revolting, nauseating Democrats. They make J.C. look like Jesus Christ fighting off Goliath with nothing but some bread and fishmeal. Or something courageous of that nature.

The Loyal Opposition Party helped a pass a Unfettered Power to Warrantless Wiretaps/Telecom Immunity Bill 76-10 in the Senate. !!!!! I know I shouldn't be surprised, but Jesus... Every day I get closer to giving up, packing up and leaving. Maybe that makes me un-patriotic. Or maybe it means I'm sane and informed. What's most disturbing of all this with all the arguing over whether the government should be able to engage in unreasonable search and seizure of international conversations with foreigners is that it overlooks the two giant elephants in the room:

1) Former Quest CEO Joseph Naccio's allegations that our swell government requested confidential telephone records from Qwest in FEBRUARY 2001, only a month after these diabolical clowns took office and way before 9/11.

2) Former AT&T technician Mark Klein's allegations that while working for AT&T he saw NSA design documents that showed they were conducting "vacuum cleaner surveillance of all the data crossing the internet" (http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2006/04/70621)

Read that, and after you're done crying tell me you don't have a tiny urge to get the fuck out before Big Brother puts you on a no-fly list. Is there any truth to Mark's allegations? Well, we'll never know if the lawsuit he's supporting is quashed by the eager beaver, terror fighting PUSSIES ,also known as Proof That God Hates America, also known as the miserable political party that chose a fucking donkey as its mascot.

It was left to Chris Dodd, a man so delusional he has completely reneged on all his responsibilities as a U.S. Senator and Chairman of the Banking, Housing, and Urban Committee, in a pathetically doomed attempt at becoming President, to try and stop this madness. It appears he has succeeded, if only for a few days (hours?). Hairy Ass Reed has pulled the bill from the floor. For the time being. In the meantime: The Democrats are to Jota Gay as the Republicans are to that evil bitch Rachel as the American public is to unsusecting Moi. Excuse me as I go and try to hawq up that cookie before the poison spreads.

Ahoy Palloi

The next time you're walking down a dark alley and you are approached by young men in ascots, khaki's and top-siders who ask for directions, think twice because they could be gang members. Apparently gangs in Guatamala have adopted a "preppy" look to avoid being harassment from police, who normally identify gang members by their tattoo's and unique fashion sense. But with the help of an educated secretary turned member, gangs are finding new and better ways to extort money and smuggle drugs and weapons. While this shouldn't be surprising or really even newsworthy to anyone who is even superficially aware that gangs have been doing shit like this for quite some time. Ingenuity and adaptation are kind of the hallmark of what it is to be both human and an animal; the fact that uneducated gangs are turning to the educated for help should be about as surprising as the realization that bears usually shit in the woods.

Gimme the loot! Gimme the loot!

USASpending.gov A step toward budget transparency that yields some interesting results, with say just a search of "Halliburton." Let the fun begin, searches can be done by contractors state, Congressional District of contractor, and by contractors name among others. Apparently sponsored by Obama and Coburn sometime late last year....more here

weapons of mass instruction

I've found another reason to take another look at Hucka: (from his website)

Music and the arts are not extraneous, extra-curricular, or expendable - I believe they are essential. I want to provide every child these "Weapons of Mass Instruction."

Take away the satirical yet poignant play on words and you have a really liberal notion of education. I whole-heartedly agree with him, and having the chutzpah to make this a key point of his education policy shows that a fundamentalist preacher is capable of having progressive policies.

The current administration is a bit more hip than most people give it credit for - for example, take a listen to the FEMA preparedness rap, here's some of the lyrics:

FEMA Rap For Kidz

Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a 'quake,
You've got to be ready - so your heart don't break.

Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.

People helping people is what we do And FEMA is there to help see you through When disaster strikes, we are at our best But we're ready all the time, 'cause disasters don't rest.

That is not a joke. It was written by Scott J. Wolfson, who may have written this under duress....the "z" at the end of "FEMA Rap For Kidz" is a clear indication Wolfson was under some kind pressure. Given Brownie and FEMA's recent track record as the whorish vessel for government largess and no-bid contracts, this instructional rap is beyond absurd.

The unapalatable but unavoidable shit stew that is The War in Iraq

It's hard to write about politics without writing about the war in Iraq. But I find it pretty damn hard to write anything intelligent about the war. The way I see it, Iraq is like a stew someone else started cooking. The Chef in every little last bit of food we have left, so we have to eat it. Even though he shit in it. Makes it kind of hard to swallow.

The worst part is, the Republicans bent over and dropped one into the stew years ago. So there's no point in trying to fish it out and pretending it never happened. We can throw in as much oregano as we want, but the fact is, there's shit in there, no amount of condiments is going to stop it from poisoning us. The Democrats want to throw the stew into the toilet, flush it away and pretend it never happened. Which I'm inclined to agree with, since I'm not a fan of shit-eating, but we don't have any food left, so throwing it out isn't much of an option. I'm also more than a little bothered by the Dems belief that we'll forget they were Bush and Dick's eager little sous-chefs from the beginning. Now they're saying it's the Chef's fault the stew is so rank. A little late for that, don't you think boys? Seems like they went along because they were too scared to do anything about it at the time, and calculated they might be able to use it to their political advantage in the future.

I could go on, and on, about how criminally negligent the Democrats have been over the last 7 (or 40) years. But suffice it to say, anyone who cared to read a newspaper published outside of the United States in 2001 and 2002 would have known that all of the "evidence" this government put forward in it's attempt to prove Iraq had weapons of mass destruction - from the aluminum tubes, to the yellow cake, to the "mobile labs" - was demonstrably false and questioned BY OUR OWN INTELLIGENCE. Any legislator who says he was "tricked" into authorizing the war is either lying or a total incompetent. And anyone who says we did it for humanitarian reasons is so unbelievably full of shit he doesn't deserve to get anywhere near the kitchen. (For an incisive history of Western involvement in Iraq, read Web of Deceit by Barry Lando. http://barrylando.com/?page_id=20)

Back to the point at hand. We have a massive amount of troops in Iraq. Iraq is in the middle of a civil war, being fought by disparate groups, most of them with competing local agendas, some with grand international visions of a Sunni umma that will destroy, or at least continually harass the West. We currently fund and arm many of these competing groups. As does Iran. The current Iraqi government is beholden to Iran; it is furious about our relatively newfound allegiance with (and funding and arming of) Sunni warlords; and it's troops and police are infested with Mahdi militiamen who kill Shiite's whenever they get the chance. Violence has been down in the last few months - not surprising, given the addition of an (unsustainable) military surge. And that's nice, unless you remember more American troops have been killed this year than any other. And it's pretty clear now that"political reconciliation" ain't gonna happen in this generation.

Fighting a war in Iraq does not, and cannot ever, stop terrorist attacks in our country. The only connection between Iraq and domestic terrorist attacks is this: we gave terrorist groups a better recruiting tool than Osama could have ever dreamed of. People used to talk about "fixing" the situation in Palestine and Israel, thinking that would defuse much of the hatred towards us. Well, maybe. The continued occupation/strangulation of Palestine makes for an easy example in the "American aggression towards Muslims" diagram. The war in Iraq now makes that argument pretty hard to refute. We're trying to prevent terrorist attacks - an attack that any Joe Blow with nails or fertilizer AND the willingness to kill random strangers can pull off - by inventing an enemy. And then destroying him and ourselves in the process. That's tragically similar to trying to feed yourself with your own excrement.

Yeah, we need to end the war. No shit. And we the sooner the better. Kind of like pulling a band-aid off. But Iraq is in a state of militarized anarchy. And leaving means a ceding Iraq to Iran. Look at a map of the Middle East. See Saudia Arabia? Know where the oil is? On the Northern border with Iraq. Know where most of Saudi's Shiites live? You guessed it. That's part of why we were buddies with Saddam for so long. That and all the money he made for American rice growers, chemical manufacturers, and weapons manufacturers. Throwing the stew out also means destroying any tiny little shred of credibility this country has. And allowing another slaughter, only this time it will be Sunni's killing Shiite's (unlike the other slaughters we've allowed in Iraq).

So, is there anything we can add or remove from the shit stew that will make it edible? Anything at all? I don't know. I'm not sure trust any person who really thinks he or she has the answer. But we need a discussion that involves reasonable alternatives besides throwing the stew out, and continuing to shit in the stew. Wish I could think of one.

candor appreciated

The word from team Hillary is that Obama's openness about drug use will come back to bite him in the ass. Maybe it will, but I seriously hope his honesty on the topic is talked about more than his actual drug use. The Clinton camp says more precisely:

Shaheen [Clinton campaign New Hampshire co-chair] said Obama's candor on the subject would "open the door" to further questions. "It'll be, 'When was the last time? Did you ever give drugs to anyone? Did you sell them to anyone?'" Shaheen said. "There are so many openings for Republican dirty tricks. It's hard to overcome."

While I do not actively support any candidate, Democrat or Republican, I think honesty about drug use from candidates is a pretty good indication of character. Just because someone actually inhaled and or snorted, doesn't make them a fundamentally flawed human being. If Bush 43 had stood up and said, "Yes I did cocaine....a lot....and it was great...," I might have a modicum of respect for him as a person. The possibility that a successful Republican attack on Obama could come out of this candor has me reaching for the Aquadots.

-------
UPDATE: I just saw this

"I doubt I'd be standing here if I hadn't quit drinking whiskey, and beer and wine and all that," the president disclosed Tuesday [December 11, 2007] to ABC News' Martha Raddatz during an exclusive tour of the White House residence.

The president told ABC News he quit drinking over 20 years ago -- cold turkey.

"I had too much to drink one night, and the next day I didn't have any," Bush said. "The next day I decided to quit and I haven't had a drink since 1986."

"And you did it just cold turkey?" asked Raddatz.

"I'm a better man for it," Bush said.

Really?

---------
UPDATE: Bill Shaheen Resigns as Clinton NH Campaign Co-Chair.....more here

everybody plays guitar

To me, Mike Huckabee's most admirable quality is not his devout faith or weight loss, but the fact that he plays bass in a rock cover band, Capitol Offense. I've played bass for over a decade, and frankly, playing bass in a generic rock cover band is actually the 6th circle of hell. Why? The unfortunate truth, from most any bassists perspective, is that while those songs may be great, fun songs for the casual listener, the bass parts for many of these songs consists solely of hitting root notes. If you can't see why this would be extraordinarily boring and mind-numbing then either don't play any instrument or play guitar. Nonetheless, I think the only fair way to assess Huckabee as a Presidential candidate is to look at his set list, and the gear in his bass rig. From looking at snapshots of Hucka playing bass, he switches between either a PRS or Washburn active pickup bass, and a Fender jazz bass, with gold hardware. Both instruments are perfectly fine, but you can see his progression through time from the standard Fender J-Bass, to the active pickup PRS or Washburn. I think this is the right direction for a bassist to move as he improves, and even though nobody listens to rock for the basslines, the casual listener may notice a fuller tone and a low static buzz that comes along with most active pickup instruments.

But what does this all mean for his candidacy? Very little to almost anyone else but probably me. I am not likely to vote for Huckabee, but I admire him for playing the most thankless instrument in a rock band (believe me I know). For Huckabee to get my vote, he only needs to do two things: 1. move away from crowd pleasing classic rock ballads, play more soul and or classic rhythm and blues (like Booker T and the MG's); 2. switch to either a five string or upright, mastery of either one is much cooler than playing saxophone.

Capitol Offense Set List

• Born to Be Wild
  
• Fortunate Son
• Jailhouse Rock
• Freebird
• Twist and Shout
• I Want to Hold Your Hand
• Dock of the Bay
• Brown Eyed Girl
• Taking Care of Business
• Beautiful Tonight
• Honky Tonk Woman
• Joy to the World
• Roll Over Beethoven
• House of the Rising Sun

Just to name a few. Pretty generic classic rock. Another thing that would make Huckabee a nationally viable candidate is if in course of every campaign stump speech on anything from abortion to climate change to immigration, someone always yells "freebird."

bad acid

Like Icarus, the housing market's rise and fall signal not only a shift in the availability of credit, but it will also impact county and statewide budgets. WashPo has a piece this morning about the $220 million budget shortfall in Fairfax County Virginia. Just in case you haven't been, and you probably haven't, Fairfax County is the richest county in America, with an average annual income of over $100,000. But dropping home prices in Fairfax are reducing the tax revenue for this county of over a million residents. Since I am life-long District resident, I'm having a schadenfreude moment right now because Fairfax is also home to many politicians, lobbyist and defense contractors, who suck on teat of the government yet fear to live inside the District of Columbia. (Side note: the NRA moved its national headquarters to Fairfax from DC in part due to safety concerns, even though their former DC office was located about 2 blocks from the White House.) With foreclosure rates rising in even the most affluent county in America, is this just a picture of what we can expect for years to come - budget shortfalls, lack of funding for schools, cops, infrastructure? My prediction is yes. If the richest county in America is hurting, it is only a matter of time before budget shortfalls and other related problems become apparent elsewhere.

Another bi-product of the increase of no money down home loans and the foreclosures that followed - commercial cultivators of marijuana have jumped on the opportunities. Before the credit "bubble" burst, pot growers used so called "no doc" loans to obtain property without showing income, and thereby buying up property for grow operations. After the bubble burst, or the credit market was cached, pot growers took advantage of neighborhoods with multiple empty houses on each block to set up grow operations as squatters. Besides the observation that the drug trade is perhaps the only truly free market in the US economy, don't forget to bring a towel.

Ironically, this brings me to a recent report on the declining use of illicit drugs by America's teens. While numbers are down in usage of drugs like pot, cocaine, meth, and heroin, there has been a rise in the reported use of prescription drugs and ecstasy. So I guess America is winning the war on drugs? Or is it more that drugs with corporate sponsorship are proliferating? Anyone remember how the makers of Oxycontin plead guilty to felony fraud and purposeful mis-branding of its highly addictive product? Why bother chasing the dragon down a sketchy alley when you can enjoy synthetic heroin in the comfort of your own home, no needles required. In a sense, I think prescription drugs are more dangerous than illicit drugs; their proliferation is legal, big Pharma and doctors alike reap a financial windfall from their proliferation, and prescription drugs are of standardized quality and dosage, thus they have the appearance of safety....I'll let Rudy take up the rebuttal.



(Author's disclosure: as I write this I am whacked out on Aleve Cold Sinus, caffeine, Claratin, and Vitamin C pills and some Green NyQuil - it is the cold/flu/holiday season.)

So goddamn disgraceful I don't have the words for it yet

I've read the terms of agreement, so I'm fully aware that I'll have to pay ungodly sums of money to Google a few years from now when it's time to publish this blog in book form, and yet I proceed. Can't be bothered to figure out how to start a blog where I own the contents. We, humans, can't be bothered, and I think that goes further in explaining American politics than anything else I'll ever write.

I was so busy at work on Saturday night that I couldn't be bothered to properly wipe my ass after making a covert mission to the bathroom and taking an especially toxic dump. The leftover shit ate away at the underside of my supple cheeks like sandpaper and made walking painful for roughly 54 hours.

Meanwhile the Washington Post was busy printing it's early morning Sunday edition, with the headline "Hill Briefed on Waterboarding in 2002: In Meetings, Spy Panels' Chiefs Did Not Protest, Officials Say". Post reporters John Warrick and Dan Eggen couldn't be bothered to write the word "torture" and, needless to say, Nancy Pelosi, John D. Rockefeller, Bob Graham, and Jane Harman had no objections to torturing suspected terrorists.

But Democrats are so appalled that the CIA threw away it's cinematic masterpiece, Torturing Zayn Abidin Muhammed Hussein abu Zubaida that they want to create their own multi-media masterpiece for the geriatrics who watch C-Span - call it, The Questioning of CIA Head Honcho Gen. Michael Hayden.

But why?? John Kiriakou was there during the filming of the aforementioned torture-porn epic. As a CIA interrogator. He says abu Zubaida underwent waterboarding, which he himself admits is torture. (See http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/10/AR2007121002091.html) It's not like we don't know that the CIA tortures prisoners it holds, renditions prisoners to be tortured by other governments, and tortures prisoners it doesn't hold in secret CIA prisons that don't exist. But if The Loyal Opposition Party didn't have any qualms over a little torture in 2002; and it couldn't be bothered to block the nomination of what is this waterboarding you speak of ? Mukasey; then why should they waste their time with (huff!) demanding answers?

The only answer the Dems are gonna get is this - most Americans don't give two farts if we torture people that are darker and, most probably, harrier than us. Tragically sad, but true. That is the one unquestionable truth we can garner from the popularity of 24. They might, maybe, if they really think about it, think that it could, possibly, be not too great on the moral scale. But really, they can't be bothered. And they don't watch C-Span anyways. More to the point, no one who cared in the first place is gonna vote Democrat just because, Congress Has Decided to Launch Investigations! Who knew? When did they know? Weren't we supposed to know? Was it shot on HD or SD? But votes is the only possible reason they would investigate in the first place. Which means the Democratic Party is led by a gang of (morally bankrupt) morons.

Now, for the good news! My rash is gone. Unfortunately, the Democrats are like a hemorrhoid that just won't die. We apply prescription and over-the-counter lotion faithfully, but it doesn't matter if we fall asleep on the toilet with the paper in one hand and our teary face in the other. If we can't be bothered to get off the toilet, wipe our ass, brush our teeth, take our contacts, set the alarm, and turn off the light, then we should stop complaining every time our ass bleeds.

Next blog - why the Republicans are like recurring UTI. (Hint - they burn us every time).